Vyaan - e - Thoughts

There is this wall of illusions, decorated with fragrances, a masquerade of happiness that is giving a fence to that wall. Easy go livings, chefs in a big casinos, bar tender serving smiles more high than wines. Everyone is happy in this wall, making their own reality inside it. I want to break that wall, I have to actually. Because there is  more beautiful world outside this wall. I am seeing it from a distant height.  It's been ages I have met someone in similar situation like me. It's a privilege to find that one person around us when everything around is going wrong. I want to take this one person outside this wall with me. Because somehow I know she also don't belong here. I am tired of this masquerade around me for so long now. It's time to invoke that lost part of me. A person whom I have left behind a long ago. Missing myself so badly since last few years. You just have introduced me to myself again. Thanks for being the Tara of my life again. Now I ...

सहूलियत से जो जाये वोह मोहब्बत नही सौदा होता है। मुझे    मालुम था उनसे मोहोब्बत मेरी आखरी मंजिल होगी। हमने फिर भी की।  उनके हाथ में खंजर था तोह मेरे सीने में भी दिल था। उन्होंने  धीरें धीरें वोह खंजर मेरे दिल में उतार दिया, नसें फट गयी मेरी। मरते मरते उनकी बाहों में जा गिरा मैं और मेरे ख़ून की आखरी बूँदें कागज़ पे जा गिरी।  और मेरे आखरी खयाल शक्ल लेने लगे। लिखा था :  गर फिरदौस रूहे ज़मीं अस्त हमीनस्तो, हमीनस्तो।   मेरी जान रूह दिल से बा-बशत हमीनस्तो, हमीनस्तो हमीनस्तो। 

I am writing this at the age of 25 and twenty five years from now, this writing is going to be my camera. I could shuffle back the twenty five years old  pictures of time in this camera. With no self love, no deaaAàaaAàaàsire, no goal, poor decision making and financial instability I am writing this to myself. I could go back and consider several other scenarios where I have failed myself miserablyaaàAàaaAa in decision making but some other time. I loose good people, sometimes parents and mostly myself. The problem is inside me and it's paranormal. Sometimes I ukeep fighting until the other person get hurt and sometimes I keep fighting myself until I get hurt. Sometimes I keep finding myself in other people and expect too much from them. Someone wise once said to me that this world is not a place for me, not sure what that person meant but his words are so surreal sometimes. I don't know where I belong. It's not good to waste life like this, practical side says this to me s...

Greetings people of Jammu, hope you all are doing fine. While most of you are having your breakfast, tea or coffee, I am leaving this beautiful city of yours.  The city which has given me enormous amount of experiences, emotions, values, joys and random moments. Some part of me wants to stay with you people and share my upcoming musings for this beautiful city. These are some of my favourite spots which I have visited in past few days. You may visit here sometime if you like.                        (JDA club Roop Nagar road) I have visited this place with my brother few days ago. This place has taught me a lot. My inner reasons for visiting this beautiful place might be different from your's. All you need to find your's while standing on the cliff and looking at the city. Everything seems so quiet and natural here. This place has made me forget myself many a times. It's so magical. Feel free to visit here somet...

रूठे हुए कल से जब माने हुए आज को मैंने जाना तो पता चला ज़िंदगी का सफर अब शांत खड़ा है। किसी दूसरे की तलाश का जनून अब सुस्ताए पड़ा है।  अब ये तलाश अंग्रेज़ी के "Suffer" से बदल कर हिन्दी के सफर में हो चुकी है।  दुनिया तो अब भी वहीं है परन्तु हमारी राह बदल चुकी है। रूठे हुए कल से जब माने हुए आज को मैंने जाना तो पता चला ज़िंदगी का सफर अब शांत खड़ा है। चाहत की आड़ मैं बिशी वोह चादर अब जरा सरक सी गई है। खुद के पैर पसारने की आदत अब लग सी गई है। कहते हैं कुछ लोग अब सेहत हमारी बिगड़ सी गई है। अभी तो होश संभाले हमने, ज़िंदगी अब बदल सी गई है। रूठे हुए कल से जब माने हुए आज को मैंने जाना तो पता चला ज़िंदगी का सफर अब शांत खड़ा है। किसी पुस्तकालय में पड़ी हुई वोह एक क़िताब सी थी। खुद से मिलने की मंजिल अब पास ही थी।  खुशनसीब हुए इस राह पर चलकर हम। लगता है इस पल की हमें तलाश सी थी। रूठे हुए कल से जब माने हुए आज को मैंने जाना तो पता चला ज़िंदगी का सफर अब शांत खड़ा है। अनसुनी कहानियां अब मेरे शब्दों से आ मिली हैं। लेकर बहार जैसे बारिश की बूंदे गिरी हैं। ये तसवीर खुद की न जाने अब किसने पड़ी ...

Dear member of Standless Clan, Made up of stars, dust, light, little bit of you and little bit of me. If I try my best to describe you in words then I might fail. But like you said words are all we have. Henceforth, I will try my best to describe you in words. But I have no idea where to begin. From that evening you tried Blinding lights in your car or from that evening I tried Julia by Jeremy Jucker in my ears? Let's keep aside both the evenings and start what I have now. Right now I have words and a blog to write them down, credit of which goes to the member of standless clan. What if I say, you are the most amazing human I have ever met in my life? Will you believe it? You consider yourself diamond and diamond is the most glittering substance present in this universe. Even stars glitter but during rainy nights and in pollution we can't see them clearly. But diamond is also the most hardest material on earth and which makes it sometime impossible to get into your head. The wa...