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Coffe and the Breakfast.

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Sitting at Vivanta on 21 January 2026 for morning breakfast. My pack of ciggrates with black coffe are enough to prevail my cafinine level upto the limit I like. My Royal Enfield is waiting for me in the parking lot, calling my name to have a glimpse of English royalty in the morning just like my English breakfast. Pouched eggs with sprinkled black pepper with peanuts and black coffe saved me from more appetite for Indian breakfast in the morning. Everything looks cool here including the staff and ambience. I love such morning extensively. More than my usual nothing to do morning routine. Ayan Rand Fountain Head is waiting for me back home. I wish I had bought it with me here. No worries, pack of ciggrates and black coffe are enough to dwell into it again. I miss my conversations with the person who suggested me this masterpiece. I love his company a lot. Time become universal for me when I am with that person. After a long time I am back again with my writings ...
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Locked inside myself.

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Disclaimer : Hey there, if you are reading this, then disconnect all your expectations of hope, happy ending or a miracle from yourself. It's a work of fiction but for some it could be a reality. It might disturb you at some point. There is nothing good about this one. It's exhausting, boring and painful. I have lost some part of me while writing this. Some part of me rebelled against the idea of writing this while some supported me a lot.  Hello there, if you are receiving this by any source. Thanks for your time I would say. I don't know the exact date and time I am writing this to you. But I know you are a human and you understand the emotions very well. I don't know from where to begin. I am locked inside myself for a long time now. But I still remember the day it all started.  It was a summer afternoon in Delhi. The crowd in the Cannaught place was as usual, some  looking inside the shopping malls from outside while some were inside the shopping malls. Thanks to th...
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The day of full moon in the month of Shraavan

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There is this wall of illusions, decorated with fragrances, a masquerade of happiness that is giving a fence to that wall. Easy go livings, chefs in a big casinos, bar tender serving smiles more high than wines. Everyone is happy in this wall, making their own reality inside it. I want to break that wall, I have to actually. Because there is  more beautiful world outside this wall. I am seeing it from a distant height.  It's been ages I have met someone in similar situation like me. It's a privilege to find that one person around us when everything around is going wrong. I want to take this one person outside this wall with me. Because somehow I know she also don't belong here. I am tired of this masquerade around me for so long now. It's time to invoke that lost part of me. A person whom I have left behind a long ago. Missing myself so badly since last few years. You just have introduced me to myself again. Thanks for being the Tara of my life again. Now I ...
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हमीनस्तो (Haminastu).

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सहूलियत से जो जाये वोह मोहब्बत नही सौदा होता है। मुझे    मालुम था उनसे मोहोब्बत मेरी आखरी मंजिल होगी। हमने फिर भी की।  उनके हाथ में खंजर था तोह मेरे सीने में भी दिल था। उन्होंने  धीरें धीरें वोह खंजर मेरे दिल में उतार दिया, नसें फट गयी मेरी। मरते मरते उनकी बाहों में जा गिरा मैं और मेरे ख़ून की आखरी बूँदें कागज़ पे जा गिरी।  और मेरे आखरी खयाल शक्ल लेने लगे। लिखा था :  गर फिरदौस रूहे ज़मीं अस्त हमीनस्तो, हमीनस्तो।   मेरी जान रूह दिल से बा-बशत हमीनस्तो, हमीनस्तो हमीनस्तो। 
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Paranormal emotions.

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I am writing this at the age of 25 and twenty five years from now, this writing is going to be my camera. I could shuffle back the twenty five years old  pictures of time in this camera. With no self love, no deaaAàaaAàaàsire, no goal, poor decision making and financial instability I am writing this to myself. I could go back and consider several other scenarios where I have failed myself miserablyaaàAàaaAa in decision making but some other time. I loose good people, sometimes parents and mostly myself. The problem is inside me and it's paranormal. Sometimes I ukeep fighting until the other person get hurt and sometimes I keep fighting myself until I get hurt. Sometimes I keep finding myself in other people and expect too much from them. Someone wise once said to me that this world is not a place for me, not sure what that person meant but his words are so surreal sometimes. I don't know where I belong. It's not good to waste life like this, practical side says this to me s...
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Farewell Jammu

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Greetings people of Jammu, hope you all are doing fine. While most of you are having your breakfast, tea or coffee, I am leaving this beautiful city of yours.  The city which has given me enormous amount of experiences, emotions, values, joys and random moments. Some part of me wants to stay with you people and share my upcoming musings for this beautiful city. These are some of my favourite spots which I have visited in past few days. You may visit here sometime if you like.                        (JDA club Roop Nagar road) I have visited this place with my brother few days ago. This place has taught me a lot. My inner reasons for visiting this beautiful place might be different from your's. All you need to find your's while standing on the cliff and looking at the city. Everything seems so quiet and natural here. This place has made me forget myself many a times. It's so magical. Feel free to visit here somet...
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ज़िंदगी का सफर अब शांत खड़ा है।

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रूठे हुए कल से जब माने हुए आज को मैंने जाना तो पता चला ज़िंदगी का सफर अब शांत खड़ा है। किसी दूसरे की तलाश का जनून अब सुस्ताए पड़ा है।  अब ये तलाश अंग्रेज़ी के "Suffer" से बदल कर हिन्दी के सफर में हो चुकी है।  दुनिया तो अब भी वहीं है परन्तु हमारी राह बदल चुकी है। रूठे हुए कल से जब माने हुए आज को मैंने जाना तो पता चला ज़िंदगी का सफर अब शांत खड़ा है। चाहत की आड़ मैं बिशी वोह चादर अब जरा सरक सी गई है। खुद के पैर पसारने की आदत अब लग सी गई है। कहते हैं कुछ लोग अब सेहत हमारी बिगड़ सी गई है। अभी तो होश संभाले हमने, ज़िंदगी अब बदल सी गई है। रूठे हुए कल से जब माने हुए आज को मैंने जाना तो पता चला ज़िंदगी का सफर अब शांत खड़ा है। किसी पुस्तकालय में पड़ी हुई वोह एक क़िताब सी थी। खुद से मिलने की मंजिल अब पास ही थी।  खुशनसीब हुए इस राह पर चलकर हम। लगता है इस पल की हमें तलाश सी थी। रूठे हुए कल से जब माने हुए आज को मैंने जाना तो पता चला ज़िंदगी का सफर अब शांत खड़ा है। अनसुनी कहानियां अब मेरे शब्दों से आ मिली हैं। लेकर बहार जैसे बारिश की बूंदे गिरी हैं। ये तसवीर खुद की न जाने अब किसने पड़ी ...
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